Author: Yanninia

Year & A Day Weekly Vlog Eps 4

Posted on by Yanninia

Let's start over. By now I am sure you know that this year I turned 29, and made the decision to say: to say yes to all those little dreams I've been putting off, to say yes to embrace the discomfort and channeling my beliefs about what I am capable of.

But along the way, I got sidetracked, and what started out as a personal project centered around self-growth and self-discovery turned into me trying to create interesting content. Week after week I fell victim to the fear of not doing enough, of not having anything Instagram-worthy to share with you. I apologized and did my best to place a positive spin on it. But that obsession with trying to be Instagram-worthy cost me.

It cost me in small little ways. It stole my motivation to keep trying, and hinder my progress and stole my joy over finally putting myself and my art first. I was so worried you wouldn't find what I was doing worthy of your attention because the truth is the bulk of what I've been up to isn't Instagram-worthy. It's me in front of my computer wearing sweats, and an oversized tank top with bed head while I craft emails, or edit about a year worth of content that never saw the light of day due to not having a functioning computer and trying to coordinate with models. It's setting up for shoots, only to have to tare it all down because someone flaked.

It's not pretty, but it's real. Sure there are things on my list that are pretty and are Instagram-worthy like taking a hot air balloon ride or flying to Paris. But I didn't start his project to become Instagram-worthy. I started this project for myself. To challenge me, and to find out how many nos should have been yes all along. To discover not only who I am but what truly makes me happy.

So let's start over.

My name is Yanninia Marie, and Welcome to my year of yes. Today is day 49 of my year & a day journey. So far my crowning accomplishments are dying my hair, filming my first miniature film, applying for my passport, and taking a risk in saying yes.

I invite you to follow along, though I can not promise you that each weekly vlog will be filled with Instagram-worthy adventures, epic shots, or life-shattering changes I can promise that I am saying yes to showing up every day to chase this dream. I am saying yes to letting you see what really going on behind the scenes, bedhead, oversized tanks, and all.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Ways to Support:

Here are a few ways you can not only support my art & business as well this journey of self-discovery.

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Inquire about purchasing a print

or alternatively check out some of my personal nature-inspired work at:https://nature.yanniniamarie.com/

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PATREON

COMING SOON!!!

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Engage with me!

Simply liking, sharing, or commenting on my content really goes a long way to support my creative endeavors and as an added bonus it makes me smile.

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A Year & A Day Week 3

Posted on by Yanninia

Can you believe it? It's already been a whole 30 days since my year & a day project has begun. The truth is I thought I'd feel different, and that somehow by making one small change everything would change. Isn't that the irony of being human, we put some much faith & weight into one decision expecting it to have ripples. Only to realize that making a decision isn't the same as continuing to make that same decision.

You don't just wake up one day and say I'm going to change my life by starting to eat right and then poof suddenly you're a gluten-free vegan who runs marathons. Change doesn't work that way. No matter how hard we wish it would.

The truth is not much has changed, but I know that with every yes I am changing and in time I will break the habit of saying no and embrace who it is that I want to become. Right now I am still struggling against the default of saying no and struggling with the illusion of grander feeling insecure with my seemingly small progress.

But today I celebrate the good, the change no matter how small. Even as part of me wishes and longs to have done more. I still said yes, I still made changes. But this never meant to be a one & done it was meant to be a journey.

Fun Fact: Last month I said yes to starting a Youtube Channel and produced my first video series: Creative Wednesday. A series where I pull back the curtain on my creative process and walk you through all sorts of things such a prop making, set building and so much more.

Feel free to check it out & subscribe to my channel to received updates about new content. 

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A Year & A Day Vlog – Week Two

Posted on by Yanninia

 

Sometimes I feel as if the world is challenging me, asking me to question my resolve with each new hurdle and obstacle the universe sees fit to throw into my path, preventing me from taking that crucial step forward. It's only week 3, and I can't help but wonder how many more obstacles it will take before the universe gets the hint that I am serious.

This isn't the first time the universe has question my resolve. That last time I did something crazy, the day I left to start my adventure, the whole sky opened up, and lightning fell from the sky, falling trees and flooding roads. Sure, it could have been a random storm, but just as the skies cleared and we found ourselves in the middle of the desert halfway between here and there, my car shook itself apart sporadically and randomly. Do you still think it wasn't a test?

This time the universe is being a bit more subtly, rescheduled shoots, emails getting lost & found, no shows, last-minute cancellation, technology problems ranging from failed video exports to weird communication problems between devices, and supply shortage forcing me to change directions.

I am still no step close to crossing any one thing off my list. But I am not worried; the universe is testing me to see if I am truly serious. Just between you and me, I truly am.

Behind the Scenes Photos from Sisters of the Lake my first film. 

Though the video has been lost to the ether these photos stand as proof of its existence. Enjoy!

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Join me this week as we continue to persevere, create my first cinemograph and film my first short film.

You can follow along with me as undergo this Year and a Day journey by subscribing to my newsletter & following me on Instagram. 

PS. Year & A Day Weekly Vlog will now be set up on Fridays by 10 am MST. Much Love and gratitude for all your patients.

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A Year & A Day Introspective Vlog Eps. 1

Posted on by Yanninia

 

Motivation ebbs and flows like water but determination is unwavering. Solid like stone it lays the foundation for all that is to come. 

This week has been fraught with challenges, obstacles, and unexpected changes. I’d be lying to say it hasn’t taken a toll. I want so much to change, to bring these tiny fragments of dreams into reality, and with every setback brings fear. Fear of not being enough, fear of failure, and fear of letting everyone down. 

It only been a week and yet I feel like I’m failing and as each obstacle lands in my path, I can feel my motivation wavering like the leaves in fall. Somedays I fall and crumble allowing myself to wallow in yet another defeat. 

They say we are hardest on ourselves and I can’t help feeling like it’s true. Yesterday I was reminded by two people that I hold dear to me that no matter how many times we fall if we get up then that all that matters. It’s okay to be a mess, it okay to be sad when yet another shoot falls through, it’s okay to miss a deadline or two we are only human after all. Take a breathe and pivot. 

Allow yourself to feel, cry, and scream in frustration but then take a breathe and start again. 

So here we go...Take two, after all, it’s the determination that will the game in the long one. So even though my motivation is shaken my determination has not wavered. I am committed to seeing this through all 366 days

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PS.
I love you all and I appreciate your patience with me as we go through this process. I am learning so many new things like why you shouldn't upload videos to youtube directly from your phone.

I promise I will work on ironing out the bugs soon and start posting with a bit more consistency rather than in sporadic bursts.

Much Love,
Yanninia Marie

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And so begins a Journey of Self Discovery

Posted on by Yanninia

Tell me about your dreams, the big ones, the little ones, the ones that keep you up at night, and the things you wish you would have done. Tell me about all those tiny sparks of inspiration and moments of curiosity you wish you could get lost in.

Now tell me why you haven't? And I'll tell you why you're wrong.

We all have them, this ever-growing list of dreams, moments of inspiration, curiosities that we never pursue. Why, because we're afraid. If you think I am wrong, let me ask one question?

If I told you that tomorrow morning you would wake up, and that thing, that lie, you've been telling yourself you needed was suddenly yours. You know what I am talking about. That excuse, that lie, you say to yourself over and over again. Suddenly didn't exist.

For me, it was time and money. I could never do that because it's too expensive, and I don't have the time. I'll fly to Paris once I save up x.  And one day, I woke up and there it was, my x. Sitting there staring at me, and yet I still didn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to quit the job that made me miserable so that I would have the time, and then suddenly that x was no longer enough because I needed it for other things. I told myself it wasn't enough, and then the pandemic hit.

Well, damn, here I am with tons of time and funds. But I still couldn't allow myself to feel safe, to feel worthy enough, brave enough to chase that ever-growing list of dreams, wishes, and heart desires. I added another x, and then another until I found myself on the phone with an amazing woman. A mentor, if you will.

At that moment, I realized, in the end, I never needed the time or the money. I just needed to say yes. For once in my life, I needed to put my desires first, and I needed to permit myself to say yes. Yes, you can.

I am willing to bet that just like me, you too are terrified. Terrified that if you say yes, you're going to change, and change is scary. You know what's worse than change having to face every lie you have ever told yourself and realizing you could be wrong.

So let me ask you a better question? Could you do it? Could challenge the lies and commit to saying yes.

I'm about to find out. Last week and I turned 29, and with it, I made a terrifying decision. I am going to commit to being brave for Year and a Day and say yes. I am challenging the lies and giving myself permission to take all of those little dreams and turn them into reality.  And I invite you to join me, to take a risk and say yes.

So tell me, what are you going to say yes to this week?

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Join me this week as we open the Creative Vault, pursue a childhood dream and take a brave step forward with a brand new look.

You can follow along with me as undergo this Year and a Day journey by subscribing to my newsletter & following me on Instagram.

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