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Year & A Day Weekly Vlog Eps 4

Posted on by Yanninia

Let's start over. By now I am sure you know that this year I turned 29, and made the decision to say: to say yes to all those little dreams I've been putting off, to say yes to embrace the discomfort and channeling my beliefs about what I am capable of.

But along the way, I got sidetracked, and what started out as a personal project centered around self-growth and self-discovery turned into me trying to create interesting content. Week after week I fell victim to the fear of not doing enough, of not having anything Instagram-worthy to share with you. I apologized and did my best to place a positive spin on it. But that obsession with trying to be Instagram-worthy cost me.

It cost me in small little ways. It stole my motivation to keep trying, and hinder my progress and stole my joy over finally putting myself and my art first. I was so worried you wouldn't find what I was doing worthy of your attention because the truth is the bulk of what I've been up to isn't Instagram-worthy. It's me in front of my computer wearing sweats, and an oversized tank top with bed head while I craft emails, or edit about a year worth of content that never saw the light of day due to not having a functioning computer and trying to coordinate with models. It's setting up for shoots, only to have to tare it all down because someone flaked.

It's not pretty, but it's real. Sure there are things on my list that are pretty and are Instagram-worthy like taking a hot air balloon ride or flying to Paris. But I didn't start his project to become Instagram-worthy. I started this project for myself. To challenge me, and to find out how many nos should have been yes all along. To discover not only who I am but what truly makes me happy.

So let's start over.

My name is Yanninia Marie, and Welcome to my year of yes. Today is day 49 of my year & a day journey. So far my crowning accomplishments are dying my hair, filming my first miniature film, applying for my passport, and taking a risk in saying yes.

I invite you to follow along, though I can not promise you that each weekly vlog will be filled with Instagram-worthy adventures, epic shots, or life-shattering changes I can promise that I am saying yes to showing up every day to chase this dream. I am saying yes to letting you see what really going on behind the scenes, bedhead, oversized tanks, and all.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Ways to Support:

Here are a few ways you can not only support my art & business as well this journey of self-discovery.

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Inquire about purchasing a print

or alternatively check out some of my personal nature-inspired work at:https://nature.yanniniamarie.com/

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PATREON

COMING SOON!!!

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Engage with me!

Simply liking, sharing, or commenting on my content really goes a long way to support my creative endeavors and as an added bonus it makes me smile.

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A Year & A Day Week 3

Posted on by Yanninia

Can you believe it? It's already been a whole 30 days since my year & a day project has begun. The truth is I thought I'd feel different, and that somehow by making one small change everything would change. Isn't that the irony of being human, we put some much faith & weight into one decision expecting it to have ripples. Only to realize that making a decision isn't the same as continuing to make that same decision.

You don't just wake up one day and say I'm going to change my life by starting to eat right and then poof suddenly you're a gluten-free vegan who runs marathons. Change doesn't work that way. No matter how hard we wish it would.

The truth is not much has changed, but I know that with every yes I am changing and in time I will break the habit of saying no and embrace who it is that I want to become. Right now I am still struggling against the default of saying no and struggling with the illusion of grander feeling insecure with my seemingly small progress.

But today I celebrate the good, the change no matter how small. Even as part of me wishes and longs to have done more. I still said yes, I still made changes. But this never meant to be a one & done it was meant to be a journey.

Fun Fact: Last month I said yes to starting a Youtube Channel and produced my first video series: Creative Wednesday. A series where I pull back the curtain on my creative process and walk you through all sorts of things such a prop making, set building and so much more.

Feel free to check it out & subscribe to my channel to received updates about new content. 

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A Year & A Day Vlog – Week Two

Posted on by Yanninia

 

Sometimes I feel as if the world is challenging me, asking me to question my resolve with each new hurdle and obstacle the universe sees fit to throw into my path, preventing me from taking that crucial step forward. It's only week 3, and I can't help but wonder how many more obstacles it will take before the universe gets the hint that I am serious.

This isn't the first time the universe has question my resolve. That last time I did something crazy, the day I left to start my adventure, the whole sky opened up, and lightning fell from the sky, falling trees and flooding roads. Sure, it could have been a random storm, but just as the skies cleared and we found ourselves in the middle of the desert halfway between here and there, my car shook itself apart sporadically and randomly. Do you still think it wasn't a test?

This time the universe is being a bit more subtly, rescheduled shoots, emails getting lost & found, no shows, last-minute cancellation, technology problems ranging from failed video exports to weird communication problems between devices, and supply shortage forcing me to change directions.

I am still no step close to crossing any one thing off my list. But I am not worried; the universe is testing me to see if I am truly serious. Just between you and me, I truly am.

Behind the Scenes Photos from Sisters of the Lake my first film. 

Though the video has been lost to the ether these photos stand as proof of its existence. Enjoy!

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Join me this week as we continue to persevere, create my first cinemograph and film my first short film.

You can follow along with me as undergo this Year and a Day journey by subscribing to my newsletter & following me on Instagram. 

PS. Year & A Day Weekly Vlog will now be set up on Fridays by 10 am MST. Much Love and gratitude for all your patients.

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A Year & A Day Introspective Vlog Eps. 1

Posted on by Yanninia

 

Motivation ebbs and flows like water but determination is unwavering. Solid like stone it lays the foundation for all that is to come. 

This week has been fraught with challenges, obstacles, and unexpected changes. I’d be lying to say it hasn’t taken a toll. I want so much to change, to bring these tiny fragments of dreams into reality, and with every setback brings fear. Fear of not being enough, fear of failure, and fear of letting everyone down. 

It only been a week and yet I feel like I’m failing and as each obstacle lands in my path, I can feel my motivation wavering like the leaves in fall. Somedays I fall and crumble allowing myself to wallow in yet another defeat. 

They say we are hardest on ourselves and I can’t help feeling like it’s true. Yesterday I was reminded by two people that I hold dear to me that no matter how many times we fall if we get up then that all that matters. It’s okay to be a mess, it okay to be sad when yet another shoot falls through, it’s okay to miss a deadline or two we are only human after all. Take a breathe and pivot. 

Allow yourself to feel, cry, and scream in frustration but then take a breathe and start again. 

So here we go...Take two, after all, it’s the determination that will the game in the long one. So even though my motivation is shaken my determination has not wavered. I am committed to seeing this through all 366 days

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PS.
I love you all and I appreciate your patience with me as we go through this process. I am learning so many new things like why you shouldn't upload videos to youtube directly from your phone.

I promise I will work on ironing out the bugs soon and start posting with a bit more consistency rather than in sporadic bursts.

Much Love,
Yanninia Marie

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Choose to Embrace the Magic

Posted on by Yanninia

Hello, lovelies,

It's a new year, a new chapter, and while I hold no illusion that the struggles of 2020 will fall away like ashes in the wind. I welcome you with open arms and a heart full of hope that this new year will change everything.

2020 was a year stained by grief, despair, and so much pain. But there were moments of intense joy and moments amongst the sadness and grief I hope never to forget. I get it, though. It is easy to see the pain, to see all things that went wrong this past year.

It is hard to remember the good, the moments that made you come alive with magic and wonder. You can blame our survival instinct for that lovely gift. I challenge you, though, to make a list of all the good and all the moments that made you smile.

I'm not asking you to forget: the days spent in isolation, the fear of a global pandemic, the heart-wrenching pain of the riots, and we are not discussing the election, let alone all of your heartaches.

However, I am asking you to take a moment and be truly honest with yourself about what good came from 2020. For me: it was meeting an amazing woman who changed my life, meeting a brother for the frist time, creating again after years of stagnation, periods of introspection and deep reflection, and so many more.

This year changed me, and it took breaking myself down to my core to see the cracks within my skin, the self-sabotaging and destructive habits worn deep into my soul like worn-out groves in a wood floor. It took breaking to finally find the way home.

So I get it. This past year royally sucked. It broke us, but something magical happens right after we break. We have a chance to rebuild, to begin again.

But it's a choice. It's a choice to see the magic in the breaking and the opportunity to grow. I could write you a list of all the ways 2020 failed to impress, and I could tell you how awful it was.

Or I could tell you how happy I am that for the frist time it what feels like a decade, I am genuinely excited and brimming with so much hope. I could tell you how I am going to move forward, how I am going to grow. I could tell you all about the fantastic moments I experienced this year.

I don't know about you, but that second option sounds so much better. So I challenge you to see the magic, embrace the good, and grow.

Until next time,

Yanninia Marie

Ps. Stay tuned as I have so many fun adventures on the wind that I can't wait to share.

Until then, you can check out the following links for a burst of inspiration:

Book of the Week:

"Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: One Introver's Year of Saying Yes" by Jessica Pan

My favorite mediation music:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DWSiZVO2J6WeI

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